Well, this week was not my most stellar, considering I only really got in two good days of work. I could have pushed myself and not taken my “weekend,” but Aaron and I had a conversation on Thursday night about how maybe all the stress from the vacation from hell might have still been affecting me.
I was freaking out, because I’ve been taking a supplement called 5 HTP to help with my OCD, and it’s been working really well. But then I got back from vacation, and I started having a recurring, obsessive thought about my weight. I’m 32 years old, and I’m sort of barely overweight, like 0.8 over the BMI into the overweight category. I’m a vegan. I exercise. I’ve never had any children. So, there’s a big part of me that feels like the little bit of extra weight that I carry around is unacceptable. And I started to basically think about it every single second that I DIDN’T want to be thinking about it. I was planning out how I was going to lose weight, considering which ways would be the best, etc.
It was three days before I even realized it was an obsessive thought. And then I freaked out more, because I was like, “Aaah! The 5 HTP has stopped working.”
So, um, sorry, but I spent all week worrying about crap instead of writing. And feeling blah. And hating myself.
Anyway, after Aaron and I spoke, he said that maybe I wasn’t allowing myself to react to the vacation-from-hell stressers, because while we were away, I’d done my best to be as cheery as possible. Now that we were home, I was experiencing all the stuff that I hadn’t while we were gone. Except I was transferring them someplace. It’s a typical thing I do, actually. I’ll be upset about something, think, “That’s a stupid thing to be upset about. It must not be that. It must be… that you’re a big, fat cow.” Anyway, after I realized what was going on, I started to feel better.
Sunday, we came back from the vacation from hell. I didn’t write that day, because we didn’t get home until late. I did watch Breaking Bad. Everyone said that it was so great that the end wasn’t confusing, but I thought it was. It wasn’t clear to me that Walter was dead. Not that I wasn’t glad that he was dead. Jerk.
Monday: I worked on stuff for my creative writing class that I’m teaching at the local college. Aaron and I also had to go and pick up his car. Then I went to visit my parents for dinner. Both my brothers came home, too, along with their significant others. It was the first time I got to meet my brother’s boyfriend, which was a big deal. I got home late.
Tuesday: I decided that all I was going to do that day was finish reading Doctor Sleep, because I figured out that I could take October completely off and still publish 12 novels this year. Of course, that was silly talk, because I don’t even want that much time off. I just wanted Tuesday. So, I took Tuesday—although I did have to go and teach my class that day. And before that, I had to grade a bunch of papers. Well, not a bunch. The class is really small, and it’s fun stuff to grade.
Wednesday: I still didn’t feel like doing anything. I wrote 700 words on Bad Moon Rising, the new Cole and Dana book, but then my landlord came to clean out the water filter and stuff, and I spent a few hours trying to keep my cat out of the basement (where the water filter is). Anyway, I went grocery shopping, and I surfed the internet a bunch. And then it was late, but Aaron wasn’t hungry for dinner yet. So I convinced myself to do another session before making dinner. And I did. And then I did one after dinner. And then I did one around 9:00. All in all, I got four sessions done, which was almost 4K. The total word count on Bad was around 8K.
Thursday: This was a good day. I got going around 10:00 and I finished by 5:00, in five sessions with breaks in between. I got my 5K, and then I watched The Vampire Diaries and The Originals. And I got caught up on Sleepy Hollow and Revolution as well.
Friday: I watched the first two episodes of The Blacklist, which I really like, mostly because of James Spader. I finished reading Elle Casey’s Wrecked, which was bubble-gum fun. A little too light for me, really, but not horrible. I thought about writing. I thought about posting a weekly roundup. But then I got my car inspected and then Aaron and I went out to dinner (We try to have Aaron-Val time on Fridays, because we are both very independent people, and we can easily go days without really having conversations). And then I spent the rest of the evening watching movies.
So… that was my week. I only got about 9K this week, but I’m hoping next week will go better. I’m hoping that the 5 HTP is still working, but I’m trying not to worry about it (as that would be like a self-fulfilling prophecy or whatever.) Anyway, today I feel great! See you next week.