My kid went to school for the first time with a full school day where Iâ€™m not spending an hour of my shuttling him back and forth, so I have this extra time, and I have decided that I need to put it back into my writing business in some way besides writing moar books (cause, you know, between my pen names I already write between 16-18 novels a year, and thatâ€™s probably, um, good). So, I remembered that before I had a child I used to enjoy blogging, so here we go. Weekly blogs. If you write them, people will come.
Will this continue?
Uh… I mean, I donâ€™t know. But come back next Friday and see, I guess?
I thought Iâ€™d write about two books that Iâ€™ve read recently that I really effing liked, and that I think you should go and read RIGHT NOW. They are both in KU, and both indie, as far as I know. Iâ€™m really excited about that because, being an indie author, I want to like indie authors, but I tend to get into trad books more easily.
I think itâ€™s the comparitis factor. Itâ€™s harder to sink into indie books, because itâ€™s all, â€œShould I write something like this?â€ or â€œI wrote something like this, I wonder why mine didnâ€™t take off like thisâ€ or whatever. I hate it, and itâ€™s got to be a really special book to turn the voice off.
So, without further ado, the first book is A Lady of Rooksgrave Manor, the Victorian monster erotica RH I didnâ€™t know I wanted. I was utterly flabbergasted to see this in the Top 100 of the Amazon store, because… What is this amazing thing? There are enough other weird women like me who want this?
Later, I found out it was on tiktok or something. I am not on tiktok, as you can ascertain from that sentence. If youâ€™re another indie author, you also get that weird guilty stomach flutter whenever someone says tiktok, because you know itâ€™s that new social media thing youâ€™re supposed to be doing and the fact youâ€™re not is the reason for everything wrong with your career. Iâ€™m like, â€œOh, tiktok is a thing? Iâ€™m going to start a tumblr, because itâ€™s 2010, yes?â€ Shrug. Hi tumblr! https://valeriec80.tumblr.com/
So, Rooksgrave is the best thing ever. Thereâ€™s kind of a plot. I wish there wasnâ€™t, to be real. I just skimmed it and went from monster sex scene to monster sex scene. She gets to f*** Mr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (well, a monster like that, anyway), a vampire, a sphinx with a hooked penis, a man made entirely of marble, an invisible man, and… that might be it. There were other monsters mentioned, and thereâ€™s apparently a sequel about another girl, and Iâ€™m here for it! I also was meh-ish on the love story where they all end up happily together, but this is because I have so much time suspending my disbelief for that. Itâ€™s the entire reason I canâ€™t get into RH.
What I really want, and maybe someone knows about this, is a book thatâ€™s RH but where itâ€™s like five guys fighting to the death to f*** you? They all hate each other and theyâ€™re very sexily punching each other all the time. Lots of sweaty glistening muscles and bloody noses … like Fight Club? I keep thinking about writing it, but Iâ€™m pretty sure it wonâ€™t sell. I also donâ€™t know how I would end it?
Moving on. Book two is To Bleed a Crystal Bloom. Holy strawberries, Batman, this book is all the things. So, I saw the cover a couple times and then I clicked to the blurb, and I think all it took was the word â€˜toxicâ€™ plus confirming it was actually epic fantasy and not some paranormal, contemporary thing (GAH! Hate that. Over that. No more of those! But donâ€™t listen to me, bc Iâ€™m reading dystopian right now, which Iâ€™m also over, so Iâ€™m a liar, liar, pants-on-fire.)
So, basically it says itâ€™s Rapunzel, but it is NOT. The only thing in common is that she lives in a tower, but sheâ€™s there because she wants to be, because she has deep fears about the outside world. And the guy there has been raising her since she was like a girl, which is just the right amount of disturbing, and he also drinks her blood every night, and we never find out why. (Itâ€™s the first book in the series)
Also, at one point she goes into heat (!!) like itâ€™s werewolf porn, which I was also very much here for. Bring on the coital tie! And I think it might be RH, too, because it seemed like all the guys kinda wanted to do her, but there was some territorial stuff going on, so it did not hit my disbelief suspendy triggers too much. (I also… OMG… territorial… take my money, book!)
Oh, but thereâ€™s no sex, not really. A couple explicit scenes but nothing actually happens, and I also currently ship her with the guy who comes to take her from the tower who is not her toxic-daddy-figure-vampire-emotionally-unavailable-love-interest who I am pretty sure is endgame.
Anyway, it was everything.
I ADORE it.
Itâ€™s everything I ever wanted from a dark fantasy romance and more. Where is book two, woman? Hurry up!
Okay, well, that was a lot. Iâ€™m done writing now, I think. Maybe see you next Friday? Weâ€™ll see, eh?