I did a little bit of work on the new book, veeery tentatively titled Fury, on Saturday. I was just messing out with a rough idea of how the book would work. I’ve decided not to write this book from a strict scene-by-scene outline, so all I have is a page with all the twists I want to reveal and a very basic idea for how things are going to work out.

Sunday: I was a wee bit hungover on Sunday, due to drinking 2 1/2 hard lemonades the night before. Even though I stopped imbibing hours before I went to sleep, and I drank three glasses of water… I still felt crappy. To which I say that being in your thirties is stupid. When I was twenty-four, that never would have happened. Boo.

Anyway, so I finished the rough outline, and then I was like, “Cool! I’ll start drafting.” But I was slightly hungover, so every word was like pulling teeth, because my brain was all foggy. So I got like 843 words in an hour. Blech.

Monday: I made a timeline, since the story takes lots of info from the past that has to be incorporated into the present time.

And then I wrote 2000 words.

I waited an hour, came back and threw 1300 words of those out and then wrote 1500 new words.

So, what’s this new book about? Well, let’s see. When we meet our narrator, she’s just being released from a mental facility. She was locked up because she claims that a man grabbed her and tried to kill her. But she has a history of mental issues, AND there’s the fact that the guy who she’s accusing of grabbing her is someone who she claimed killed three girls six years ago, but then recanted her story and said that she was crazy with grief over the death of her mother.

Man. I don’t know how I’m going to write this blurb.

Okay, so anyway, there’s been another girl who’s in the hospital in a coma, and our narrator is convinced that this guy tried to kill her too, and that he really is the guy who killed all the other girls. No one believes her, though, so she sets about trying to prove this.

Factor in her creepy twin sister, her childhood friend who’s grown up and become a megastar actor in popular vampire movie, the fact that she lives in this falling-down manor house, and that she keeps seeing things that other people don’t see, well…

Did anyone even follow that? Yeah, the blurb is going to be hell…

Tuesday: Wrote 8K in four sessions

Wednesday: 8K in four sessions

Thursday: 8K in four sessions

My biggest fear with this book is that all of the twists and turns in the story are way too OBVIOUS. I keep feeling like people are going to pick up the book, read the first scene, and be like, “Oh obviously this person is the killer.”

Hmm… I think I might have just changed my mind about who the killer is. Glad I wrote this blog post.

Anything else that happened this week?

Not really. I had to pay for 100 gallons of heating oil for my tank, because we were getting low. Luckily, Smashwords deposited almost exactly the amount I needed for that into my Paypal. (Thank you, Smashwords!) Book sales continue at a sluggish pace. But the good news is that I think I’ve got enough money to live in April combining the money I made in December and November. January should give me about $1000 towards May, and if I make at least $1000 in February, that’ll take care May!! So, I think I might be all right supporting myself for longer than I thought. Anyway, hopefully between now and May, I’ll have another breakout of some kind, and my income will pick up again. *fingers crossed* So, a big thank-you to anyone who’s been telling your friends about my books or picking up anything for yourself. I really appreciate it, and so does my house, which is still toasty warm. Keep it up. I couldn’t do it without you guys. Seriously, you have been so kind to me, especially when I was in my really bad funk, and it was so good to have your support and encouragement.

Speaking of which, I’ve stopped taking all supplements for my OCD. I really don’t think they were helping, and I think they might have been making things worse. My day-to-day is a lot better, but it’s less to do with the fact that I’m messing with chemicals in my brain and more to do with the fact that I’m trying to monitor the way I think better, I guess.

Anytime I start wondering about the future, I try to remind myself that the future is unwritten, and no amount of ruminating on my part is going to change it. I remind myself that while I can try things and monitor what happens, I can’t know what’s going to happen, and that improperly predicting the future does not make me an idiot.

I also try to watch it and make sure I don’t start telling myself I’m a bad person. As an example, I was reading a book about the FLDS the other day, and the writer of the book said that Warren Jeffs, the cult leader, was obsessed with sex. And I immediately thought, “You’re obsessed with sex, too. Isn’t that why they kicked you out of your job, because your books were too sexy? And you write about sex all the time. And that’s why your books don’t sell. And you’re a horrible person, and you’re never going to succeed in life.” And I lost myself in that for a good five minutes before I was like, “Wait a minute. Am I cult leader? How does my thinking about sex hurt anyone? And furthermore, I don’t think writing about sex is a recipe for not selling books. This sounds like an obsessive thought pattern to me!” I just shut it down.

I’m not saying that using some kind of medication can’t be good for OCD, but I feel like I’m having good success with monitoring my thoughts for now. I’ve had success in the past and then slid back, so I can’t be sure what will happen in the future. (See? I’m learning.) Anyway, though, I’m feeling more and more like I’m unraveling the whole pattern of my thoughts. This is hard to explain, but I’ve been combating my deeply held beliefs about the world and my place in it… Aaand… no, I can’t quite explain it. The point is, I’m doing better. Lots better.

Well, that was my week.