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The Halloween party was not held on Halloween, due to the fact that Halloween fell on a Wednesday that year, and no one wanted to have a Halloween party on Wednesday. The party was planned for the Friday before Halloween instead. The Halloween party wasn't called the Halloween party because it was the only Halloween party in Elston. On the contrary, there were many Halloween parties in the area, some actually occurring on the night of Halloween. But the Halloween party was the biggest Halloween party and the best known. Everyone went. Residents of Elston did not ask, "Are you going to the Halloween party?" They asked, "What are you wearing to the Halloween party?" or "Where are you going before the Halloween party?"
Ramona often felt it was Elston's version of the Oscars. Everyone lined up to see what everyone else was wearing, and there were before and after parties. They didn't give out any awards or anything like that, but Ramona had always thought the awards part was really the most boring part of the Oscars anyway.
Ramona was excited as she prepared for the party. Ramona was dressing up as Guinevere that year. It wasn't her best costume or her most elaborate. Her best year was the year that she was a succubus. She'd been really sexy that year in red lingerie and long press-on nails. She'd also been pretty scary. She'd enjoyed it. That costume had taken ages of planning and had wound up being really expensive when all was said and done.
Admittedly, the Guinevere costume wasn't too shabby. She'd found a nice medieval looking dress--well, maybe it was a nightgown--at the Goodwill in Freeburg. And she'd found a really realistic-looking crown at the toy store in town. So, she looked good. But she'd thrown the costume together the weekend before. Last year, when she was the succubus, she'd been convinced it was her last year in Elston, so she'd spent weeks and weeks on the costume. But here she was, still in Elston. It was depressing, honestly. She needed to look into some grad schools. She needed to take her GREs.
As she prepared for the party that evening, she realized that Halloween meant summer was officially over. She wasn't just taking a summer to decide her next move anymore. Now, she was taking a summer and a fall. It would be winter soon. The thought was enough to ruin Ramona's pre-party mood for an entire ten minutes.
To distract herself, she went out on the porch for a cigarette. Angelica was there. She waved. "Hey!" said Angelica, grinning.
Ramona squinted at her. That was weird. Angelica was never this friendly. "Hi," she said warily.
"You need a light?" asked Angelica.
"Um, thanks, but I've got one," said Ramona, lighting her cigarette. Had someone taken Angelica and inserted a look-alike robot in her place?
"That's cool," said Angelica. "So, what are you gonna be for the party tonight?"
"Um..." said Ramona "...are you feeling okay?"
"I'm feeling great," said Angelica. "Why?"
"No reason," said Ramona. She stubbed out her cigarette without finishing it. Cheery Angelica was disturbing.
It was just starting to get dark as she went back into her apartment. She didn't have much time to get ready if she wanted to meet Heather and Rick at The Frog for drinks before the party. Heather was her best friend. The two had roomed together sophomore year in the dorms and planned to get an apartment together the following year. But that summer Heather had met Rick, and the two had gotten married. Ramona frankly didn't get it. She didn't think it was a good idea for two people to get married after dating for two months. Hell, she didn't think it was necessarily a good idea for two people to get married after dating for two years--not if they were both twenty years old. Twenty was too young to get married. They hadn't even been able to drink legally. It was ridiculous.
But Heather and Rick were still together and still apparently very much in love. They seemed to be so happy that it made Ramona sick. She had never been that happy. Not with a boy. Maybe with Ben it had been close, but her relationship with Ben had ended, so something must have gone wrong with it. Since Ben, Ramona had dated a few guys and had a few one-night stands, but nothing serious. It wasn't because she wasn't interested. She liked having a boyfriend. It was much nicer than being alone. She'd only had three boyfriends in Elston. Two her freshman year and Ben. She and Ben had dated for two years. She'd wanted to marry him and have his children. But Ben had been on his way out, and now she thought of him like a wistful dream. A beautiful memory that popped like a soap bubble when she tried to touch it.
Ramona would have liked to be dating, especially dating Mason. But besides Mason, she sort of felt as if she'd really exhausted her resources here in Elston. She'd dated a little between boyfriends. Factoring those guys in, and the guys that her friends had dated, there wasn't much left. Elston was a very small town. The residents played their own game of six degrees of separation. Ramona could connect herself to anyone in town in six moves or less by figuring out who'd slept with whom. For instance, she had slept with Ben, who'd dated Katie, who used to be with Owen, who was Blair's boyfriend now. Or, she'd slept with Tucker, who'd slept with Mary, who'd slept with Alicia, who'd slept with Fiona. (Mary was bi. Alicia and Fiona were lesbians.) It was oppressive. All the more reason for her to get the hell out as soon as possible.
She squelched the thought. If she was going to make it to this party, she had to stop thinking like this. This was a good night. It was the night of the Halloween party. It was one of the best nights in Elston, hands down. Of any night, this was the one she should be happy to live here.
Ramona got into her costume and applied her makeup. She was a little late getting down to the bar to meet Heather, but when she arrived, Heather wasn't there yet anyway. Ramona got a drink, settled in at a table and waited. Finally, Heather appeared. She was dressed in a flowing white dress with a hooded cloak. She had drawn a half moon on her forehead, directly between her eyebrows. "What are you supposed to be?" Ramona asked Heather.
"A Celtic priestess, duh," said Heather. "Sorry we're late."
Rick waved from behind Heather.
"Oh," said Ramona. "Duh." She rolled her eyes. Heather was way into New Agey, Wicca, ghost-hunter stuff. She was always pestering Ramona. Ramona should let Heather read her Tarot cards. Ramona should let Heather figure out her rising sign. It was maddening. Ramona wasn't into any of that stuff.
She and Heather chatted, trying to catch up. Even though Heather lived in Freeburg, which was only a twenty-minute drive from Elston, the two rarely saw each other anymore. They had differing lifestyles. Heather was married and settled down. Ramona was still living like a college student. Well, sort of, anyway. She went out more than Heather did, for sure, but Ramona had discovered that it was a lot harder to go to work hung over than it was to go to class hung over. She didn't know why exactly. It probably had something to do with the fact she was working instead of just taking notes. But it sucked. She still went out fairly often, but she didn't stay out late and she didn't drink much. She supposed that, despite her best efforts to the contrary, she was growing up.
Heather thought it was good that Ramona wasn't drinking so much. "You haven't called me crying lately," she pointed out.
That was true. "My life is boring," said Ramona. "What can I say?"
After two rounds of drinks, they decided it was time to head to the party. Heather offered Ramona a ride, but Ramona declined. Heather and Rick tended to leave parties earlier than she liked. She took her own car.
The Halloween party was held on the river, a few miles out of town. There was always an enormous bonfire on the front lawn, and it was that glow that Ramona looked for as she navigated the tight turns of River Road. Ramona had thought about getting a place down here. Rent was cheaper, if she could find a roommate. The only trouble was that the river flooded the road out if it rained too heavily. And with the winter snow, the kids who lived on the river often lost power, or couldn't get out of their driveways for weeks. Ramona didn't think she could handle that.
Finally, she saw the bonfire and pulled into the long dirt driveway. Avoiding the potholes, she found a space to park in the tall grass beside the driveway. She was still pretty far from the house, however. The party was packed. She could see people gathered around the bonfire in garish and outlandish costumes. As she stepped out of her car, she heard the pulsing pound of hand drums. Some guys had gotten a drum circle started, apparently.
Ramona shivered in excitement. It was the beginning of the evening. The night was filled with possibility. Anything could happen tonight. She grinned and twirled around outside her car. She was so excited that she could burst. She loved parties! She opened one beer from the twelve pack she'd bought earlier and put another unopened in her purse. She'd have to come back later for a refill, but she couldn't leave her beer out in the open, not at the Halloween party. It was sure to be stolen. She'd have to leave it locked up in her car. She took a sip from her beer, lit a cigarette, and set out across the lawn towards the bonfire.
She called out greetings and stopped to chat here and there, but she wanted to walk all the way around before deciding where to settle in. She walked around the bonfire and then headed up to the house. There was a band playing on the porch. Also, the keg was on the porch. After saying hello to everyone on the porch, she headed inside, where there was food. By the time she made it back to the bonfire, she was out of beer and had to go back to her car for a refill. She thought it was a little odd she hadn't seen Heather and Rick yet, but she did notice their car parked a few cars down from hers, so she knew they were there. It was a big party. They'd run into each other sooner or later.
As Ramona headed back towards the bonfire, she realized she needed to go to the bathroom. She hesitated, considering going back up to the house and waiting in line for hours or just trudging into the woods and squatting behind a tree. She decided on the latter. Ramona knew the woods pretty well. She'd been to lots of parties out here, so she navigated the trees and undergrowth easily until she found a place that was relatively private. She went about her business.
In the distance, she heard a police car siren and through the trees, she could barely see the flashing lights. Geez. They were out to tell the party to get quiet already? It wasn't even midnight. Ramona rearranged her costume. She wasn't doing anything illegal, but it was a pain to be pestered by the police. She walked out a few paces and settled on a tree trunk, opening her beer and gazing up at the night sky. She'd just hang out here and wait the police out. Above her, a shooting star streaked across the sky.
Huh. Wasn't that what Mason had been talking about, the night she met him? She wondered where Mason was. She'd hoped to see him tonight. He had been talking about falling stars. And it hadn't been too far from this spot. Just up at the A-frame house….
It was Ramona's junior year of college. Her boyfriend Ben had just left town, and Ramona missed him. Heather dragged her out to a party on the river, at Dawn and Cecelia's house, because she said she was sick of listening to Ramona whine about Ben. Once there, Heather immediately found them some mushrooms. The girls both ate a large amount of them and within a half hour, they were lying on the grass outside, watching the stars chase each other. At some point, Ramona remembered not being able to handle the lights. They were too bright, and she was hallucinating that the stars were swooping down to get her. She tried to communicate this to Heather. Heather didn't say anything except, "You're fine."
Ramona went to the nearest car to take shelter from the falling stars. The back door was unlocked, so she crawled into the backseat and covered her head with her arms.
Mason was inside the car, sitting in the front seat. He said, "Who is that?"
"It's Ramona," Ramona said, her voice muffled by her arms.
"Why are you in this car?"
"I'm having a bad trip." She might think the stars were after her, but she knew it wasn't real. "Who is that?"
"It's Mason."
Ramona didn't know Mason very well at this point. She'd seen him at couple parties now and then, but they'd never really spoken. She sat up, moving her arms away from her face. "Why are you in this car?"
"It's my car."
"Oh."
"Why are you having a bad trip?" Mason asked.
"The stars are after me. They're falling out of the sky and trying to get me."
"I'm a falling star."
What? "Are you tripping too?" He must be tripping.
"No."
Ramona sneaked a quick peek out the window. The stars swarmed at her out of the darkness. She sat back in her seat. "I hate mushrooms," she said.
"That's what you're tripping on?"
"Yeah. They always make me feel...unsettled. Like there's something I'm supposed to figure out. I think that's why people used to use mushrooms on vision quests."
"Very possibly."
"Do you want me to leave the car?"
"I don't care."
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"I'm not sure," Mason said. He peered at her from the front seat. "I'm not sure of anything."
"Can I smoke in your car?"
"Open the window."
"The stars will get me."
"I'll make sure they don't."
Ramona lit a cigarette. She thought about the fact that the mushrooms had sent her to the very edge of sanity, and if she thought that Mason was a little strange, she should remind herself that she was afraid of the stars. She'd humor him. He seemed okay.
"You'll protect me from the stars?" she asked.
"Yeah. I'll protect you."
Mason turned to face her from the front seat, and his face swam--features twisting and writhing. Ramona blinked, trying to force herself to see normally. She was tripping too hard for it to matter. She tried to tell herself to relax, to just ride out the mushrooms. It would all be over in a couple more hours. But right then, all she wanted was for everything to go back to normal.
"Who am I kidding?" Mason asked. "I don't protect people."
Ramona took a drag on her cigarette. "You seem depressed."
Mason considered. "Yeah. I'm depressed. I want to go back up into the sky."
"And be a star?"
"Yeah."
"But falling stars aren't stars. They were never stars. They're just fragments floating about in space. Stars are big balls of gas."
"Minor issue," Mason said. "Everything is connected. Everything is part of everything else."
As he spoke, the interior of the car seemed to get a little brighter. "What do you mean?" Ramona asked.
"Energy can be neither created nor destroyed," Mason said. "So there's a finite amount of energy in the universe. And matter can become energy. So, there's also a finite amount of matter in the universe. It's all just changing form. That's all. Everything is everything else. Or it was at one time. That's how I became a falling star. I think. Or maybe...maybe a long time ago, the universe was different. You've heard about the Big Bang, right? Or how the universe is expanding like a rubber band? Maybe the universe was different, and it exploded into this universe."
Ramona was tripping hard. Some of what he was saying made sense. Sort of. "How would that explain how you became a star?"
"Well, let's say that what I said is true. That matter and energy are interchangeable. Humans are just matter, right?"
"Just matter?"
"No, exactly. Humans are more than that. Humans are consciousness. They're spirit. But what if that consciousness, that spirit, is tied inextricably to the matter? What if, when a human dies, that...essence breaks up and flits out into the world and reforms with other bits of essence and makes new things? New humans maybe. New trees. New life."
"Okay. I guess that's kind of plausible."
"So if the universe exploded before, all that essence would have exploded with it and reformed itself. But what if some of it got trapped? What if some of it didn't break up? What if some spirits got contained whole in some kind of matter? Like a meteor?"
Ramona laughed. "You're saying that you are a displaced ancient soul from before the dawn of time of this universe?"
"It's one of my theories. You think it's funny?"
"No, I like it. It's very poetic. Pure consciousness trapped in meteors. It's quite lovely. But you're Mason. You're not a meteor."
"I'm not Mason."
He was delusional. Or else he really was on mushrooms, and he was having a far worse trip than Ramona.
"Who are you, then?"
"I don't know. It's been too long. I can't remember. I have these bits of people stuck in my teeth, and I can't remember where they end and I begin. I don't know anymore."
"Listen. You're Mason. You'll feel better if you just let this whole thing go, and--"
"I'm not Mason. Mason's dead."
Dawn, who'd been dating Mason at the time, appeared at the driver's side window of the car and pounded on it. Mason reached back and grabbed Ramona by the shoulders. "Mason's dead," he repeated, intensity burning in his eyes. "I killed him."
Dawn threw open the door to the car. "Mason, what the fuck are you doing?"
Ramona laughed and laughed. Until her gut ached. Until the stars stopped falling.
Ramona could still see the police lights, but she'd been out here for a really long time. She got up and began to make her way back through the woods. Maybe something had happened. Ahead of her, she saw someone, streaking through the woods, running fast. Angelica? It looked like…
"Angelica?" she called.
The figure halted. "Ramona?"
But it was a male voice. She moved closer. It was Mason. "Hey," she said. "I was just thinking about you. About that time you told me you were a falling star up at the A-frame. You remember, right?"
Mason looked annoyed. "I wish you wouldn't bring that up," he said. "You know I was wasted out of my mind." He approached her quickly. "What are you doing out here in the woods?"
"Peeing," she said.
He raised his eyebrows. She winced. That was probably too much information.
"You should go," he said. "The police are talking to everybody. It's a mess out there."
"Why?" said Ramona. "Is this a drug bust, because—"
"You didn't hear? You've been in the woods for a long time, then."
"Didn't hear what?"
"Someone found a body down the road. The rain washed it up. The person was murdered. Like…mutilated." Mason looked a little sick.
"Oh my God," said Ramona. "Why are they talking to us?"
Mason shook his head.
Ramona pushed past Mason and headed back towards the party, horrified. People didn't get murdered in Elston. This was crazy.
"Wait, Ramona, don't go back there."
"I have to find out what happened," she said. This was insane. First Garrett the crazy rapist came back to town and now there was a dead body? What was Elston coming to?
She scrambled through the woods as quickly as she could. Mason followed her. "We could just hang out in the woods until they leave," Mason called after her.
Did Mason have a joint in his pocket or something? Seriously, why was he running away from this?
Ramona emerged to find the bonfire dwindling. People were standing in packs, talking amongst themselves. Some were holding their masks. A few girls looked like they were crying. There was a buzz of subdued conversation. What the heck had happened?
Heather darted out to her. "Ramona!" She gave her a huge hug.
Ramona pulled away. "What happened?"
"You didn't hear?"
"I heard something about a body."
"Oh God, Ramona, it was your neighbor. That Angelica girl. She's been dead since last night. They just found her. Jesus, Ramona, she was so messed up."
Ramona took a step back. "Since last night?" she echoed. That couldn't be right. "But I—"
Mason was behind her, pulling her away. "Ramona, you're upset," he said.
"That can't be right," she said.
Mason looked at Heather. "She's upset," he said. "Give me a second with her."
Heather started to protest, but Mason dragged Ramona away. Ramona tried to struggle, but it was Mason, the guy she had an enormous crush on. Mason had dimples. And blue eyes. He was too pretty for words, and he was the sweetest guy she'd ever met. Not only that, he was a psychology major, and she could usually count on him for interesting conversation on a host of different topics about the nature of humanity. Ramona loved stuff like that. Interesting conversations were pretty important to her. Of course, she couldn't really make him see that she liked him. She'd tried flirting. She'd tried wearing suggestive clothes. She'd tried dropping not-so-subtle hints. Nothing worked. Mason never got the message, and she was too chicken to just ask him out. Being this close to him was kind of nice.
"Ramona," said Mason, "whatever you're going to say, don't."
"But, Mason, I saw Angelica—"
"No," he said. "No, don't say it."
"Mason, I swear to God. I saw her. She was standing on the porch not two hours ago. She was fine. She can't have been dead—"
"Ramona, listen to me," said Mason, his voice deadly serious. "You can never tell anyone you saw what you saw. Do you understand?"
"Was it a ghost or…" Ramona was struggling to process it all. Mason was close. His hands were gripping her arms. He was gazing into her eyes. But Angelica was dead! She needed to try to understand how Angelica could be dead and also be on the porch outside two hours ago smoking a cigarette.
"No," said Mason. "You didn't see anything."
"Mason, you're not making sense."
"You're not making sense. You're saying you saw a dead girl."
"I don't know. I did. She didn't look…dead."
"There are things in Elston that you don't know about. Things you don't understand. Things that could hurt you."
"Mason—" He was seriously creeping her out. Was this another delusion? Like the falling stars?
"If you tell anyone that you saw Angelica tonight, bad things will happen. Very bad things. Do you understand?"
"Are you wasted again? Like you were that other night?"
"For me, Ramona? As a favor? For me?" He looked at her with his deep blue eyes.
How could she resist?
Copyright (c) 2010 Valerie Chambers